Esther Chong's Testimony

Esther Chong’s Story

Shared at BFEC’s Churchwide Journey - 19 Sep 2021

I was born in a broken family. In my childhood I didn't know what love was, I only knew what it was to hate people, and to take revenge against people if they offended me. People showed no grace to me, and in return, I also showed no grace to others. In my youth, I was abused for no reason by my dad and uncles, because they in turn had been abused by my grandfather. The generations of our family were filled with violence, so, I ran away to Singapore. I was very confused in my life although I been seeking many different gods and had become vegetarian since my secondary school days. I had no purpose in life.

One day, my friend invited me to church. Actually that Sunday, I had promised my other friends to go Kwang Ming Shan Temple to get a Buddhist name. I was conflicted and also very tired because I worked the night shift in production QC. And so I told myself that I would go to either the church or the temple depending on which MRT station I woke up at. At that time, I lived in Taman Jurong, and I fell asleep on the train. When I woke up, the train had stopped at Lavender station, so I decided to go church. If I had woken up in Raffles Place or City Hall, then I would have changed trains to go Bishan, and to Kwang Ming Shan Temple.

When I stepped into the church, I heard the people singing “God will make a way, where there is seems to be no way.” I could hear an inner voice of God calling me and telling me that he wanted to heal my brokenness. He would cause breakthrough in my old life, and give me a new life. He would give me love, peace and joy that I had never experienced before. That day, in 1995, I decided to surrender and accept Jesus into my life.

One of the first things that happened after I accepted Jesus, was that the person who bought me to church asked me to forgive people who had hurt me and abused me. (She wanted me to surrender my past to God). I struggled so much to forgive people because I had never received love in my life, I had only been abused by my dad and uncles since childhood and life then was so miserable and without hope. But I chose to learn to forgive and forget and let go, because Jesus forgave my sins. When Jesus asked me to accept Him into my life, I felt so touched. Never had I known a stranger who knew me so deeply and so personally. At that moment I could feel the inner peace that I had never experienced before. John 14:27 says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

For many years, I did not acknowledge my father as dad whenever I went back to visit him in Malaysia. But I remember the first time after I accepted Jesus, I chose to address my father as ‘dad’. I did it so reluctantly, but I did it for the Lord. I felt so released from the hindrance in my heart that had prevented me from acknowledging my father. Slowly I learned how to love people, because Jesus love is overflowing into my life and I cannot contain it. Jesus slowly changed my life. He moulded me and refined me when I read His Word and prayed. He taught me how to love and care for people, to be outward looking, not inward looking, to be positive in life. Slowly I understood His heartbeat and purpose in my life.

The period during which God cleansed me and refined me was very tough because my nature was full of violence, hate and bitterness. I believe there was a generational curse on my family, but God took it away and showered His blessing onto my family. Within one year my dad accepted Jesus, because he saw the changes in me and my sister. God changed him and healed his sickness, such that he no longer needed to go for an operation every year. Praise God! God also removed the poverty in my family. After I accepted Jesus, my family started to have enough, we did not lack for anything.

In my dad’s last few years before he went to be with Jesus last year, I was able to go back to Ipoh to visit him weekly - travelling to Ipoh on Friday nights and returning to Singapore on Saturday night. I Thank God that He reconciled my relationship with my dad when I chose to obey Him. I experienced God so deeply and He has given me true joy in my life.